Why Learning is hard for me

Early in my second grade year of school, I was asked to accompany Sister Saint Dorothy to the small office in the little Catholic School I attended.  To my surprise, I found my mother waiting there for us. My teacher explained to my mom, right in front of me, that I was mentally retarded because I had not learned to read and was falling behind the class.

Dyslexia was pretty unknown in the early sixties.  I was privately tutored to catch up to the class, but the damage had been done. I had the feeling something was terribly wrong with me and barely made it through the seven years I spent at that school. When I finally got to public school and was tested, I discovered that I was not intellectually flawed in any way. I was actually placed in advanced classes. I committed myself to learning everything I could learn. I found that I loved learning and being challenged.

When I first encounter something I must learn, even today, I go immediately into a panic. I wonder if I will ever be able to learn it and worry that I will not grasp it. Then I get busy and work with it until I get it.   I spend time linking the new material to my work. I consider how I can apply it to my client projects.  I write notes all over my books in the margins and this helps me to recall information for when I want to look it up later.

I find that even though I want to learn and consider myself a life long learner, that I have to put myself into situations that I have to learn…I trick myself into learning. Learning is hard work. I'd much rather do something easier…like watch an old movie or read a novel, or visit a friend. For example, I set this goal a few years back to read a book each month related to my work. After setting the goal (the easy part) I had to figure out how to make myself achieve it. I came up with a plan to interview the authors of the books I would read and "bookendsbookclub.net" was born. I have averaged 10 books per year - until begin in this grad program!  But, that is okay, I am learning and that's the goal.

I believe learning makes me more alive. The more ideas I get exposed to through learning, the more alive I feel and more connected I feel to my work and my world. The more I learn, the more I want to learn...probably because in learning I continually discover how little I really know!